I’m frequently left in awe by the number of people in their 20s who seem to be making bucket-loads of money: I’m talking people like Mark Zuckerberg or Oculus Rift creator Palmer Luckey. If you read the tech press in particular, “the youth” hold all the aces, so it’s no surprise perhaps, that people in their 30s and 40s often have a bit of a crisis of confidence.
In fact, it’s something that crops up quite regularly when people come to see me about hypnotherapy for confidence. Professional confidence when you feel opportunities are passing you by can be easily dented.
What many of the younger men who are “making it” have in common, as well as ambition, is that they have relatively little to lose. I used to work for a man named Felix Dennis, something of a legend in publishing, and in his book How To Get Rich he says if you’re going to make it you need to do it before you’re 40. That’s basically because, he says, once you pass 40 you’ll have too many commitments and too much to lose to really go for it.
While there’s a degree of truth to that, it’s obviously not true of everyone and is a bit of limiting outlook. There are plenty of people who only hit the big time in their 40s and 50s: Samuel L Jackson’s big break came when he was 43; Vera Wang only got into fashion when she was 40. McDonald’s founder Ray Kroc was in his 50s before he hit on his burger franchise idea.
A lot of someone’s will to succeed – regardless of age – boils down to their personal values and what their idea of success is. I think people who perceive themselves as under-achievers are more likely to come and see me about hypnotherapy for confidence, for example, if there are things lacking in their life. If, however, they are content at home with a loving family and friends, success at work may perhaps be seen as less important.
Compare that to the man whose partner is forever complaining about money and whose friends all seem to be doing well. The realisation that it’s been nine years since they were last promoted can be crushing.
If you are determined to change your life and achieve your goals, there are four things to consider.
1/ Your values
What are your values? Love is a value, as is freedom and happiness. Write down a list of things that are important – if success at work will help you achieve these things then that’s a good motivation. If your job has no prospect of giving these things to you, then you maybe need to find something new.
If you truly want to succeed, you have to have the skill for it. You might need to retrain, or maybe you can just build on your existing skills, but it’s hard to excel if you haven’t put the hours in. Hypnotherapy can help provide you with the staying power to see it through, as can coaching.
What do you believe? If you believe that you are capable, that you can succeed and that you will succeed, it can make a huge difference to the way you approach your goal. Hypnotherapy for confidence can really help, using techniques such as Havening and visualisation.
If your values show that fulfilment will come from success, if you’ve acquired the skills and you’re full of self-belief, then success can come about as a result of your behaviour – the act of turning your fantasy into reality. Again, hypnotherapy can help you get to your next milestone.
You need all four of these in order to pursue your dreams with any real chance of success, and whether you’re 40 or 60 it’s really not too late.